The Garden

Written: July 8, 2025

The deeper I get into my faith journey the more and more, the moment in the Garden of Gethsemane impacts my heart. More than the cross, the garden breaks my heart; devastating my soul.

Witnessing the purity of Christ’s humanity, his fear, his brokenness, his desire to live and not have to die, his struggle between what he wants and what God wants, the tension brings me to tears. The moment Christ is on the cross, he’s already in it, so to speak. However, the garden is the calm before the storm, the point of no return. The last moment where he has a choice to go through with this or not.

And our God, Jesus struggles.

What if there was no Garden moment. What if, we simply cut to the persecution and the execution. One can argue that, if written that way, it would make Jesus look like ’the man’. It would highlight more of his divinity, something mighty that only he can accomplish with such poise and self-control. It would be powerful and amazing. I’m sure many would believe out of sheer inspiration and awe. But that version of the story would take away most of Jesus’ humanity. It lacks the most humane aspect of it: relatable vulnerability. This is so God. Using brokenness, vulnerability, failure, for His great goodness.

So why should I think that God won’t use my failures for his goodness? It’s my imperfection that enhances and points more to his greatness, grace and his mercy. When I am weak, He is strong. Even our God, Jesus, in his most weak and human moment, allowed this part of himself to be seen and shared it with the world. How much more should we then allow our own brokenness and vulnerability be shared? To be used to highlight God’s purpose, God’s work in our lives?

Don’t be ashamed. Don’t hide it. Put it into God‘s hands and allow Him to use it. Trust in His wants not your own. The world says to hide your weakness. Will you follow the world, your thoughts, your feelings? In order, to protect your ego or reputation or will you allow God to work His way in your life?

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Prayer:

Lord, I choose and trust your way. Take my broken life, my life that is lived unwell, and use it for your Glory. I lay it at your feet. I am a bad suitor and caretaker of my life. Please show me how. Don’t let me squander the remainder of this life you’ve given me. May I not be the servant that hides his talent out of fear. But may I use what you’ve blessed me with despite my past choices. I’m sorry. Guide me. Point me in the direction and I will run. I will run the good race.

Help me, O God. I struggle. I’m scared. I’m deflated. I alone with my thoughts am hopeless. So I come to you. You know my heartache and my desires.

But not my will, but your’s be done.

Amen.