Power and the Desire for it
Written on April 13, 2020
From reading “In the Name of Jesus” by Henri Nowen.
Chapter 3: From Leading to being Led. The Temptation: To be Powerful
“What makes the temptation of power so seemingly irresistible? Maybe it is that power offers an easy substitute for the hard task of love. It seems easier to be God than to love God, easier to control people than to love people, easier to own life than to love life.”
Reading the above quote challenged my heart, character, and priorities so deeply. Why is power so desirable? Henri Nowen frames this from the story of Jesus’ temptation, as a model.
Christ’s third temptation; the temptation of power. When Satan says ‘I will give you all the kingdoms of this world in their splendor’ Matthew 4:9. Again Jesus’ response is more than just an example but showcases his priorities and ultimately his love for us. Him coming down to earth in the form of man, is Christ walking away from his level of complete power why? In order to live out the ultimate act of love. This shows us not only Christ’s unfathomable love for us, but it also shows us that love requires a lot. And I believe that’s what Henri Nowen was trying to get at, by presenting us with this question: Truly, it is easier to seek power than it is to love?
Think about all the systems of this world. It’s easier to have a dictatorship than a democracy. It’s easier to have one chef in the kitchen leading one menu or one Director’s vision to lead the film crew. A relationship can be easier to tolerate if the priorities revolve around one person. But we all know this does not illustrate love in any way shape or form. Love requires. Love is giving. Love makes it about something else. Listen to to the adjectives described by the Bible ‘Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy it does not boast.’ So of course in a world that values efficiency and productivity Love becomes a chore, a delay, a thing that complicates all other things that uphold the value of efficiency.
This has wrung ever so true in my own personal life. Feeling a lack of love and therefore a lack of personal value, I found value in being efficient, smart, fast, witty, productive. Why? Because it’s easier to control and muster up that practical muscle. It also doesn’t require anyone else. These characteristics can be developed well, alone. I don't need to bounce anything off with anyone else. I can foster this alone. What makes it worse, is that our society also values these things and honors and worships those who reflect this, despite their personal hearts and lives, and how they treat those around us. In the name of efficiency people become a means to an end, a tool to inevitably helps ourselves get to where we ‘need’ to be.
In contrast, Love requires the most uncontrollable, incalculable variable in existence: another human being. To pursue love means to take the ultimate risk. You’re putting yourself out there, like sheep amongst wolves. Love is the most inefficient thing in existence. Have you ever tried to love that needy friend, or the friend who is unfortunately an addict of some kind whether from substance abuse or emotionally instability, or simply a friend who never seems to take your advice but constantly wants to talk to you about how their lives are falling apart? Try controlling them. Try telling them how to live their lives, (this is using power) you will quickly see how they will turn away from you, not trust you anymore, not feel safe, and in turn you will eventually find yourselves no longer friends. We all have had this experience. You may have been on the receiving end of a relationship such as this. Ask yourself, did you feel loved? Did that make you feel safe with this person?
Love takes time. Love is a winding road journeyed in the dark. You have little to no control because you can’t force someone to receive the way you want it or understand it the way you want them to. It’s up to that individual. And that’s why it’s so hard. People are too hard, too confusing, too unpredictable, and so it’s easier to just focus on myself, and my own life.
So often, even in ministry or loving relationships where I am trying to display ‘Christ-like’ love I comment to myself, “if they would just shut up and listen to me their life would be better.” So arrogant and unloving, it’s all about me. Truly, it’s easier to control than to love. I think that’s why Henri Nowen emphasizes over and over again in the book the importance of the question Christ asks “Do you love me?”
Love, as we spoke earlier, it is the giving up of all power and control. If we don’t give up all power and control to God, he ceases to be our God, and in turn it is not a love relationship. Not only do we find power easier than love, it also harkens back to the first incident in the Bible, the human desire to be their own God. The core of our sinful nature. God said obey me about the tree and you will live. If we were enlightened or informed about what we get out of that deal or agreement, then that wouldn’t be pure obedience. A pure obedience of love, but in contrast, it’s our way of being in control making our own judgement call, in control of the benefits of our lives. Only when we like and agree to the terms of the agreement do we then choose to obey, because it sounds good to us. In summary, I want to be my own God and not trust the things you have for me.
To fulfill this fall/brokenness Christ had to come and this time, unlike us, he DID obey God about the tree but this time instead of life his deal was death, For us. This concept of power over love, brings me to my knees. I still so desire power, influence, public value even when I minister to my cell group I hope that it will take me to a stage. I realize I still desire power over love. My hunger for power shows itself especially when I must minister to someone who is a bit more frustrating or may require a bit more patience. When I must deal with those that don’t think like me, don’t look like me, or don’t relate to things the way I do. In those moments I want to pursue with power. But it’s in those moments where love is the requirment. For me to trust them, to be vulnerable with them, to invest in them, to care, to sacrifice my time, to understand, to empathize, to journey with, at their pace. To make it about the other person.
That is love.
God I don’t have this love, Help me.
