Nearness to God Results in Repentance

As we journey and get closer to God, as we near Him it will always lead to repentance. The closer you get to light/purity the more visible becomes your dirt and sins. It's like you're walking through a dark tunnel; you can't see anything. You stumble, you may trip a few times, maybe even scrape an elbow or two. Up ahead you see a small glint of light. As you get closer and closer to the light, your eyes adjust and you start to see the walls of the tunnels, the branches and vines on the floor. You continue to proceed, closer to the light, now you can see your self, looking down at your elbow now reveals that oh it's a pretty deep cut and I'm bleeding, ah my clothes are covered in mud, etc. You see it's not that the light put the dirt and scars on us, but the light revealed the dirt and scars that were already on us.

Another way of looking at it is when we observe something so great and magnificent it's beyond us. For instance, standing at the precipice of the Grand Canyon, standing at the foot of a great mountain, or standing alone in the desert night and gazing up at the stars. Standing before something so grand reveals and sheds light on the smallness of you. It's an inevitable and natural response.

So, us falling into repentance as we get nearer to God does not come from a place of persecution or God causing guilt in your heart. It’s not an attack. It’s a direct reaction, a direct result of getting nearer to God, the purist thing in existence. 

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When I think of God's kindness leading me to repentance I find myself waiting to see his kindness appear in my life, so that then I would be compelled to repent. My inner voice would say, "what kindness God are you going to show me by bettering my current/future life? How are you going to alter my current circumstances so that it will convince me of your kindness? Once I see that you answer my prayers I will come to repentance."

Obviously, if one is thinking this way it's very clear that it comes from a lack of true understanding of the cross/gospel message. Rather coming from a place of self righteousness and entitlement, "Show me what you got God then I'll respond." But when we look back properly at the cross we see that what happened on Calvary is in and of itself a showcase of all of God's character. He’s proven everything there. We must understand in our heart of hearts that his kindness was perfectly displayed on the cross. His kindness is not destroying all of us, writing us off, judging and condemning us. That’s why the cross humbles us to the place of repentance. 

So instead of looking into the future with the attitude, "okay God show me." We must look back to the word and see all that God has already done.

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God's silence to our prayers is a way to reveal what our hearts are really worshipping. His silence reveals our omega, our ultimate desires. Through his silence it reveals our desperation for that thing we are desperately praying for. Eventually leading to the realization that I’m desiring this above him because his silence is revealing my frustration and disappointment.

Unfortunately wisdom and growth can only come from that journey. We humans can’t simply be told what our issues are and expect that it will bring true change. Each of us must grow into that realization through this experience. We cannot intentionally force our 'ah-ha' moment and especially not force someone else to have that moment. It takes the universe to align, for one to reach their 'ah-ha' moment.

Sometimes his silence is his love for us.